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Letting Go Allows Abundance To Flow

Wednesday, September 10th, 2008

Letting go allows abundance to flow

Can we be spiritual and rich at the same time?

Many spiritual students confuse money and the attachment to money.

Money itself is just a tool or a convenience; a means by which energy takes shape temporarily before it transforms into something else.

The attachment to money, on the other hand, is the notion that money is the source of wealth, happiness, and fulfillment.

It's the belief that our wealth and power lie outside of ourselves; in numbered pieces of paper or shiny clumps of metal.

This attachment leads to the belief that the means justifies the end. It's an attitude that makes attaining money the purpose and reason for life.

If we experience frustration and lack in this area, chances are we are acting from a place of need and attachment.

When we are attached to money, we pursue it.

During this pursuit, life passes us by. When life passes us by, we have sacrificed our true purpose (to live life to the fullest) for an empty and unfulfilling illusion.

I came to fully understand this whole idea of attachment to money one day when I was skateboarding through my neighborhood.

I often go cruising down the quiet suburban streets to get a breathe of fresh air, enjoy the day, and get the energy in the body moving.

This particular day, as I was enjoying the sights, sounds, and people, I happened to glance down and see a small shiny round object on the ground.

I stopped, got off my board and walked toward it. It was a quarter. Pleasantly surprised, I smiled and thanked the universe for this gift and kept on riding.

I had gone not even 50 feet and I saw another shiny round object on the ground. This time a dime. "Cool!" I thought to myself, and thanked the universe again.

I continued on my way, turned the corner and yet again I found another coin, a quarter!

I laughed to myself in happy amazement and kept riding.

In the the span of about 10 minutes I found a total of 8 coins, nearly all of them in different spots. Three quarters, 2 dimes, and 3 pennies for a total of 98 cents.

It was almost unbelievable to find all these coins in such a short time when I wasn't even looking for them in the first place.

After the 8th coin, I began to notice a few things happen. For one, I began to think "this is just too unusual, I'm getting too lucky."

It was like a subconscious closing off to receiving the gifts of the universe. It was like my mind was giving me a reality check (and in the process blocking the miraculous).

It was as if my mind had reached a threshold of how many "lucky coins" I was mentally willing to accept into my concept of reality.

Secondly, I noticed that as I kept riding, I was no longer basking in the cool breeze, enjoying the unique personalities of each house, feeling joy at the natural arrangements of plants, trees, and people.

Instead, my eyes began to scan the ground, actively searching for the next coin; the next mini-treasure.

My mind switched into acquire mode with the goal of finding and attaining more money.

Instead of being in a state of peace, joy and appreciation, a state of being in harmony with spirit and attracting abundance; I became consumed by this instinctual seeking, a state which neglected abundance and focused primarily on acquiring.

My head was down as my attention became fixated on the passing gravel, potholes, and leaf-filled gutters. Without coins, this world looked dark, barren, and unpleasant. It lacked life, it lacked the vibrancy of spirit, of light and creation.

When I realized what had happened I snapped out of it. I thought to myself, "Wow, I've lost track of what was truly valuable to me; the real reason I came out today. I went for a ride to see the sights; to enjoy the beauty of creation as expressed in these plants, houses, and people; to feel the joy and exhilaration that comes from riding.

The universe gave me a few gifts and since I was still attached to money, I got caught up in acquiring more. This searching resulted in me neglecting the whole purpose of coming out in the first place. And it also closed me off from receiving more."

Then that animal part of me argued its case, "No! I must keep looking for coins. I might miss one if I am not looking down at the ground."

This brings up a key component to spiritual work; faith. The ability to let go and trust the universe.

How did I first find the coin? Was I deliberately searching for money by scanning the ground? No. I was enjoying the scenery, in a state of peace and I suddenly felt the urge to look down at the precise moment that I passed a coin on the ground.

The universe had nudged me to pick it up.

So now I could choose to turn over this chance of finding another coin to the universe and go on with observing the beauty around me, trusting that I will receive another nudge if I pass a coin; or I could choose to take matters into my own hands and actively scan the ground, neglecting my original purpose in riding and even put my own safety at risk (since I will not be watching for traffic as well while scanning the ground).

As much as I wanted to only look up and enjoy the ride like I had when I first started, it was a bit of a challenge. The ego kept directing my eyes to the ground in search of money; almost addicted to possibility of the pleasure that comes from attaining it. I had to consciously keep bringing my attention back up.

This story is a perfect anecdote for our life and our relationship with money (or anything else that gives us pleasure).

When we get a taste of something good, it's instinctual to begin to seek more of it. Yet it is the seeking itself that drives it further away from us and leads us into suffering, lack, and unhappiness.

This is why I said fulfillment is found not through attainment but by letting go. In the letting go, we are releasing our attachment to that which we have sought after.

When the seeking is released, we come back to our inherent energy of peace, joy, and abundance. It is in this state that all these gifts come to us.

Life is meant to be enjoyed and lived to the fullest.

As life gives us these wonderful gifts, we can allow ourselves to appreciate them in that moment.

When we realize that the source of our abundance is within and let go of attaching to any outside source, we are free to enjoy the simple and extravagant gifts that life has to offer.

From here, we will be open to anything that comes our way.

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How to Let Go of Any Stressful Thought by Asking These 4 Questions

Monday, August 25th, 2008

Have you ever been relaxing by yourself, maybe reading or watching tv while completely at peace, when suddenly a thought pops in your head.

"My life doesn't have a purpose. I need to do something productive or my life will just waste away."

Where did this thought come from?

More importantly, how does a thought like this make us feel?

For me, when a thought like this comes up, I feel anxious and start to put a lot of pressure on myself. My body becomes uncomfortable and I get agitated.

I may keep doing what I'm doing or I may push myself into action in order to feel produtive (which usually ends in more stress in the form of multi-tasking and not really getting anything major accomplished).

Where did this stress come from?

Is it because we have not attained all those things in life we believe to be important such as the ideal body, career, and social life?

Perhaps if we got all those things, the stress that we feel will go away too….right?

Or maybe it was simply the thought "My life doesn't have purpose" that was the problem to begin with.

Could it be that all our stress is caused, not by our life's circumstances but by our thoughts about our life's circumstances?

Could it be possible to find peace in our life right now without changing anything except our thinking?

According to Byron Katie, it's not only possible, it's the most practical way for many of us to find peace in any given moment.

Byron Katie is the creator of The Work, a method of self-inquiry that ends the negative thought spiral of the mind.

Simply put any stressful thought up against 4 questions and watch as truth rises up and transforms stress into peace.

In the midst of an ordinary life (2 marriages, 3 children, and a successful career), Katie began a downward spiral into rage, paranoia, and despair.

Becoming nearly bedridden and severly depressed, she checked herself into a halfway house and end up living in the attic room (since the other residents were so afraid of her).

One morning in 1986, 43 year-old Byron Katie woke up without any concept of who she was. As she describes it from her book "Loving What is":

"There was no me. All my rage, all the thoughts that had been troubling me, my whole world, the whole world, was gone. At the same time, laughter welled up from the depths and just poured out. Everything was unrecognizable.

It was as if something else had woken up. It opened its eyes. It was looking through Katie's eyes. And it was so delighted! It was intoxicated with joy. There was nothing separate, nothing unacceptable to it; everything was its very own self."

Her family and friend were amazed at the seemingly miraculous transformation and asked her what happened. Katie said that a freedom had woken up insider her and through a process of inner questioning, she realized all her old thoughts were untrue.

Byron Katie has no specific religious or spiritual affiliation, she says that she is a "lover of reality."

Through a few basic concepts, 4 questions, and a turnaround, anyone else can become a lover of reality as well. She calls this process "The Work" or just self-inquiry.

The following concepts lay the foundation for getting the most out of self-inquiry.

Noticing When Your Thoughts Argue With Reality

Most of our stress comes from attaching to thoughts that argue with reality.

Have you ever tried to train a cat to bark?

You could spend hours becoming frustrated and angry trying to train a cat to bark and it will still only be able to "meow."

It wouldn't make much sense in stressing ourselves over this situation because a cat can only be what it is; a cat.

The minute we demand the cat act like a dog, we are arguing with reality and the result is a feeling of stress.

This example seems obvious but in one form or another, our stress comes from asking others to be something that they are not; it's just like asking the cat to bark.

Staying In Your Own Business

From "Loving What is":

"I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God's. (For me, the word God means "reality." Reality is God because it rules. Anything that's out of my control, your control, and everyone else's control – I call that God's business.)

Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our own business. When I think, "You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on time, you need to take better care of yourself." I am in your business. When I am worried about earthquakes, floods, wars, or when I will die, I am in God's business.

If I am mentally in your business or God's business, the effect is separation."

When we feel negative emotions and stress, that is a sign that we are not staying in our own business.

Becoming Aware of Your Stories

Thoughts themselves are not the problem. It's the attachment to the thoughts that create suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing it to be true without questioning it.

Combine enough of these un-investigated beliefs together and you have a story; a big theory that tells us what everything means.

Say for example, you're at a party with some friends and you are introduced to someone. As you both talk, you notice the other person seems distant and uninterested and you eventually part ways with each other.

What does this mean?

That you are boring? That they are boring?

Our story (the collection of thoughts that we are attached to) tells us what the event means.

If our story is that we've always been awkward in social situations, then this even will just reinforce that story and we will feel negative emotion.

If our story is that we are fun and interesting and if we don't get along with someone else, then it probably just wasn't meant to be and we spared by their departure.

The key idea is that it's not what happens to us in life that causes suffering, it's "What story are we attaching to?"

How can we tell if we are buying into a story that's working against us? We feel negative emotion.

Anytime we feel bad, that's a signal that it's time to question the story we are telling ourselves.

This is what the process of inquiry is all about; investigating our stories until we find our truth.

When truth is found, peace is the result.

Judge Your Neighbor

To start inquiry, it's best to begin with our beliefs about others and then move onto our beliefs about ourselves and everything else. This is done through what's called a Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet (available from thework.com).

If you'd like, print out and complete the worksheet on someone who's been stressing you out lately. As you fill out each statement, allow yourself to be as honest and judgmental as possible. This way we get the ego on paper which allows for a better chance at finding our truth (so the ego won't be able to backwards rationalize).

Inquiry: The 4 Questions

When you're finished, put each statement up against the four questions. Instead of just answering each quickly with the mind, genuinely ask the question and wait for an answer.

The goal is to allow the answers to come from our heart rather than our mind.

The mind knows only duality whereas the heart speaks from our inner knowing; our true self.

Question 1: Is It True?

Genuinely ask yourself if the statement you are working on is true. Don't pay attention to other's belief systems or what is sopposed to be true from a right or wrong viewpoint but see if you can find your answer. If the answer is "no" or "I don't know", go on to question 3, otherwise go to the next question.

Question 2: Can You Absolutely Know That It's True?

Can you really know that this is true, with the universe's infinite intelligence and immeasurable factors? Can you really know how the situation will play out in the end? Perhaps there is a purpose in that which you are resisting.

Question 3: How Do You React WHen You Think That Thought?

What happens to you when this thought comes up? What do you feel, physically, in your body (tightness, tingling, etc)? How do you treat others? How do you treat yourself? What actions do you take?

Question 4: Who Would You Be Without The Thought?

Close your eyes and wait. Imagine for a moment, that it is not possible to think that thought even in the midst of that person or situation. What do you feel? What is it like? What would life be like without this thought or story?

Turn It Around

The turnaround is a way to fully experience both sides of the coin (both polarities of the mind). In this way, we create balance in the mind and release energy that has been trapped in the ego's attachment to one viewpoint (or polarity).

Many times we will realize that the opposite of what we believed is as true or truer than our original position. This opens up a whole new world, mentally, and is often accompanied by great emotional relief.

To turn around a statement, you simply replace the person's name with your own name.

So in the example of the though "She should be honest with me", the turnaround is "I should be honest with me."

Now stop and let that turnaround soak in for a moment.

Is this statement as true or truer?

So using this same example you could ask yourself questions that would backup the turnaround such as: Were there times when you were not honest with yourself about her actions? Is it not true that she is just being who she is and perhaps you have created a story that built her up to be some ideal person and all that is required is that you be honest with yourself?

The idea is to play around in the opposite polarity for a bit and see what the mind finds. Try to find 3 examples of how each a turnaround is true in your life.

Now if you are writing about yourself or an object, you replace it with "my thinking" to turn it around.

So in the example, "My body shouldn't be fat" becomes "My thinking shouldn't be fat." Now wait a moment and let that think in. How many times a day are you thinking about your body being fat? Perhaps it is our thinking that is really weighing us down.

The story of being fat is replaying over and over in the mind until we identify ourselves with that story. With the turnaround we can realize that a majority of our energy is invested into this story and without it, our body could be using that energy to become healthier.

There is also another way to turn it around and that is to change it to the complete opposite of the original statement.

The thought "She should be honest with me" becomes "She shouldn't be honest with me." Why? Has she been honest in the past? If not, then why in the world should she be any other way than the way she is? She can only be that which she is. Just as a cat can't bark, she may not be able to be honest 100% of the time.

It's not about right or wrong, it's about reality. If it's true that she is dishonest, then she should be dishonest. Why? Because she is; everyone can only be that which they are.

These turnarounds are especially powerful because we get to see how the world is our mirror.

As Byron Katie Says: "Everyone is a mirror image of yourself – Your own thinking coming back at you."

This one concept allows us to stop trying to fight reality and instead make peace with it. From this place of peace, we tap into the creative power of the universe and allow ourselves to enjoy life as it unfolds.

To really understand the work, it's helpful to see Byron Katie in action; going through the four questions with people in her live workshops.

I've only recently begun using her work and have found it to be very powerful at bringing me back to the present moment and extremely effective at halting the negative downward spiral of the mind.

Eckhart Tolle teaches the power of now, yet for many, it's been a struggle to stay in the present. The Work is the process of coming back to the present moment and, therefore, leaving all suffering behind.

All that's left is reality and as Byron Katie says, "Reality is always kinder than the stories we tell about it."

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Here are some videos that demonstrate Byron Katie and The Work in action:

Introduction to The Work (Interview)

Explaining the 4 Questions of The Work (Interview)

"I Don't Ever Want to be Rejected Again" (Workshop)

"I Want Her to Come Back to Me" (Workshop)

"She's Not Getting Over it" (Part 1)

"I Want Her to Live More Fully" (Part 2)

"I Need My Partner to Open His Heart"

Your Kind Nature

"I'm Afraid of War" Byron Katie in Israel (Part 1 of 3)

"I'm Afraid of War" Byron Katie in Israel (Part 2 of 3)

"I'm Afraid of War" Byron Katie in Israel (Part 3 of 3)

You Need More Money, Is That True?

"I'm Too Fat" (Part 1 of 2)

"I'm Too Fat" (Part 2 of 2)

Our Innocence

"My Father Isn't Here For Me"

Sample of The Work In Action (48 min)

The Work on Jealousy and Resentment (63 min)

"I Thought You Were Sopposed to Love Me" (61 min)

The Work on The Perfect Body (42 min)

Teenage Prison Facility (29 min)

Prison of the Mind (54 min)

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Fulfillment Is Found Not Through Attainment But By Letting Go

Tuesday, July 29th, 2008

Fulfillment Is Found Not Through Attainment But Through Letting Go. Why so many people are searching for joy and love outside of themselves. It's an endless cycle. Self acceptance is key to fulfillment.

What are you seeking in your life right now?

Do you believe this next job, person, or skill will lead to you feeling happy and fulfilled?

For many years I was all about self-improvement. I loved finding new programs that would allow me to be better at body language, communication, business, psychology, and so on.

I somehow fell into the attitude that the good life is "out there" and the way to get there is by becoming more.

There was a subtle and unspoken belief that myself, at the moment, was not good enough; hence the reason for self-improvement.

This notion followed me everywhere. I would work out at the gym so that one day I would have attained a strong and muscular body and would then have the confidence and status I sought.

I wished for a beautiful girlfriend to come into my life so I could attain the love and affection I sought.

The only thing was, this type of plan was a failure right from the start.

Once a person subscribes to the notion that their fulfillment is "out there," they have created a pattern. (Another way to look at it is that they have jumped into a specific stream of energy, one of need and lack).

The thing with patterns (or energy streams), is that once a person is in them, it's a bit tougher to turn them around.

This means that even if a person gets what they want, they are so consumed by the pattern, they will find something wrong with what they've attained and continue on with a new version of the pattern.

In my case, I worked out at the gym for a few years and got in pretty good shape. My friends would compliment me and others would notice and for a while I felt great.

Yet ultimately, I was not fulfilled and this need to be more transformed from getting in shape into becoming good with women.

I would tell myself, "No, this is it. Once I learn how to attract women, that's when I'll really be happy. Just this one thing and I'll be good."

So I learned all kinds of dating techniques and concepts and started dating a beautiful girlfriend.

And again, for a short while, I was happy and seemingly fulfilled.

Yet there is something interesting that I realized.

Anything that is built from the energy of neediness will eventually drain itself and collapse; either slowly or in one fell swoop.

Building something on the premise that it will fulfill you is like building on shakey ground.

Once a person realizes that a thing isn't going to fulfill them (usually after they achieve it), they neglect it.

They do this because they never really wanted that thing in the first place; they wanted what they thought it would bring them. Without the end result, they might as well throw the rest away.

So of course, once I had "attained" a beautiful girlfriend, I ended up having problems and realized that I knew barely anthing about relationships.

Again, I went in search of something else to fulfill me. This is what led me to Ideagasms and Stephanes programs (along with many other books and programs you'll find in the resources section).

Luckily for me, his programs taught self-acceptance using the 7 Chakras as the framework.

The key is accepting yourself wherever you are, since that brings you back into the present moment (which is where all your power is).

You allow yourself to be fulfilled right now rather than sometime in the future (when you reach some goal).

So I worked with his chakra program along with other various teachings and methods (such as EFT and TAT) over the past 2 years and was able to ground myself into the reality of being fulfilled right now.

One of the chakra frames that Stephane really hammers in is "I accept myself just the way I am, even though I'm not perfect."

As I kept focusing on that one, intuitively I started letting go of things; unhealthy habits, unecessary possessions, unpleasant jobs, certain relationships, various positions.

The more I let go, the easier it was to go within and experience joy and fulfillment. There was no logical reason why I should; my health was a mess, my credit cards were racked up, my datings skills were at a major low, my business was not working.

Yet none of that mattered.

I made a conscious decision to accept myself just the way I was, no matter what.

The more I let go, the better life became. (This is what I'm still working on and what better way to internalize this attitude than to share it with others).

Everything improved on its own.

I realized that our default state is vibrant health, our default state is abundance, our default state is joy.

If we aren't experiencing these states, it means we must let go of something.

It means our energy is tied up in something and by letting it go, we are taking back our power.

Just look at toddlers and you can observe this inner fulfillment in action; you can see it in their eyes.

They find tremendous joy in dirt and plants and bugs. They don't need anything to be happy, they just are.

Yet somehow, along the road of life, we forgot that we are the source of our own happiness and began to seek it "out there."

Is it any wonder why so many of the pop stars and cultural icons have such personal turmoil? They have reached what many seek as the dream of glamor and fame and have come to realize it didn't give them what they really wanted.

The real desire is for a connection with spirit, to feel our innate inner being flowing through us as vibrant and joyful energy.

Spiritual work is the process of letting go of all that is not us.

As we chip away at the illusions we have bought into, we free our energy and we allow our life experience to jump dramatically.

Then, as we are free, we are in a better place to build sustainable creations because they are created out of a loving fulfilment rather than a resenting lack.

In this way, they are grounded in the power of the universe rather than the force of the neediness.

Ask yourself, what possessions are using up your energy?

What relationships, career choices, or habits, are draining you?

What positions are you holding onto that are causing you conflict with yourself and others?

Fulfillment is available to you right now.

Are you willing to let go?

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